As of November, I have been self-employed for four years. It feels incredible to write that because even though I know it’s true, somehow I still can’t believe it.
When I co-founded my first business in November 2020, I had three months’ salary from my last employed role which was all the safety net I had. Back then I had a business partner and we gave ourselves three months to be making enough money to live on. If we weren’t we would go and find jobs. As the sole income in my household then as now, there was no other option but to succeed, and succeed we did.
Four years later, one year into my second business now working alone having exited my first last December, I’m still going. Not that I haven’t ever been tempted by the idea of returning to employment, because I absolutely have. I think every entrepreneur, business owner, and freelancer has those moments from time to time. But they have so far been fleeting, although I’m a big believer in staying open minded so never say never! If the right opportunity came along at the right time then who knows. For now though, I’m happy to be where I am and making the most of the opportunities I’m creating and seizing.
Self-employment is not easy, but neither is employment. There are pros and cons to every decision we make in life and this one is no different. For me, the former outweigh the latter, and as long as they do then I’ll continue on this journey of self-employment.
As I reflect on the ups and downs of the last four years, the thing I feel most is pride. I am proud of all that I’ve achieved in that time, even when it doesn’t look exactly like I thought it would. I am proud of myself for showing up, especially when it’s been difficult. I am proud of myself for staying true to who I am and the things that are important to me when it would have been easier to accept other people’s versions of success. I am proud of myself for asking for help when I have needed it, something I find incredibly difficult and is still very much a work in progress!
It’s not comfortable for us to admit to feeling proud because we live in a society in which self-deprecation is the default and we hold ourselves back from fear of being judged as being too big for our boots. That’s partly why I think it’s so important to say it.
Another thing I’m proud of is learning out loud and working in the open. I’ve been very open about my journey, sharing my learning, wins and mistakes along the way whether that’s in conversation or in my writing on LinkedIn and in my monthly update to subscribers. I try to show up in the world as my flawed, imperfect self, and doing that means being willing to be vulnerable and risk judgement, something I’m undoubtedly practicing again now as I send this very personal missive as this month’s update!
There are many things I’ve learned in the last four years, both practical and abstract, far too many to include here. What I have included here are four of the biggest lessons I’ve learned so far on this wild journey in the hope that there’s something there you might recognise or that you find useful to hear for any reason.
Lesson One
Stay true to yourself even as you grow. Evolving means you won’t always feel the way you do now. Current you might not want what past you wanted, and future you might not want what you want now. That’s okay. Changing your mind is allowed. In fact, I’d say it’s a necessity if you want to keep growing, otherwise you get stuck. But you do have to be guided by your own blueprint for success and personal north star, even as you embrace the possibility of change. Resist the siren call of shiny object syndrome of the million and one things you could try and buy – it’s all noise and distraction. Only you can know how something feels in your body and in your life. Learn to listen and to trust yourself. That will see you further on the path to success than anything anyone else can tell you or sell you.
Lesson Two
You can’t do it alone. No, really, you can’t. If you’re anything like me you’ll think you can but it’s not possible. Finding other people on the same path and at different stages of their own version of the journey you’re on is critical to being able to navigate the complexities of being a small business owner. Invest in those relationships early and often, and don’t take them for granted. I am lucky enough to have wonderful family and friends who are incredibly supportive of my career path, but no matter how much they love me, they don’t ‘get it’ in the same way that my business peers do. Seek out people who will inspire you and challenge you in equal measure and have each other’s backs.
Lesson Three
There will always be people who don’t get what you do. People who criticise how you show up in the world, the decisions you make, the way you do what you do. Let them think what they think and don’t waste your energy trying to change their mind about you. Also, try not to take it personally. When your business is truly yours, it can feel as though any criticism is direct rejection of you as a person, but it rarely is. And even when it is, that’s okay too. I promise, you can survive it. I’ve lost count of the number of people who have questioned Progress Partners, in big and small ways, and while it’s not always pleasant in the moment, in most cases it has reaffirmed my belief in the journey I’m on and that is always a good thing.
Lesson Four
You are not a machine and you cannot do everything all at once. You need time off and away from the business (physically and mentally) if you are to bring your best to your work, whatever your best looks like on any given day. That means taking a holiday and saying no to the requests that come in for that time you have scheduled to be away, even if you’re not going anywhere. It also means shutting off at the end of the day and not dipping in during evenings and weekends. If you don’t you’ll be forced to and no-one wants that.
I’ll leave it there for now safe in the knowledge that by the time I reflect on the next year I will have learned even more, and hopefully have lots more to celebrate too!
